Opposite Day Hooray

Let me give you a situation.

Your friend goes and sees a movie. They next day they tell you that it was so incredible that it caused them to lactate through their ears. It cured everyone in the audience of any and all maladies and at the end kittens and puppies descended from the heavens and God himself told every member of the audience that the animals would never need to use the bathroom. This is how incredible this movie is.

You then go to check his claims on the interweb and low and behold rotten tomatoes is unavailable because it has been raptured to heaven after all the critics witnessed the best movie ever.

So wanting to gain the ability to lactate from your ears, cure your horrible nervous twitch that caused you to fling your grandma down the stairs and to get a puppy/kitten that will never poo on the carpet you sprint to the theater as fast as you can and line up with the million other people to see the movie.

You sit down with your popcorn flying everywhere because of you anxiousness or your nervous twitch we're not 100% sure. You sit through the commercials and previews for inferior movies and finally it starts. You spend the entire movie waiting for the heavens to open and your puppy who you have already named Mr Nuttykins to descend. As the movie continues you keep telling yourself no it will get better it will get better. Then the movie climaxes and you expect to finally be able to run through the fields with Mr Nuttykins and to once again be allowed near your grandmother but still nothing. You say to yourself "It must have the best ending!" Then it finishes. You sit there in shock and awe as milk spews from everyone else's ears. The formal cripples in the front row are now perfect river dancers and puppies and kittens frolic among the milky aisles.

But there you sit. Your ears milkless, your puppy nowhere to be found, and you just realized you punched the kid out beside you with your nervous twitch. You realize that you are left with one feeling one resounding three letter word about the entire movie... "meh".

Sorry that story got out of hand but it illustrates the horrible crime of having a movie over hyped to you by friends and Critics. All of us have been victim to it.

Now I move onto why I posted this, the topic? The movie Twilight. An adaptation of Stephanie Myers vampire chic-lit novel of the same name. Now I'm a 21yr old male and I attended this with my wife. I say this to set my sexuality so that you understand that I have not caught the gay (*nttawwt). I enjoyed the books, some parts were a tad mushy for my Manly self but overall they really drew you in. My favourite part of them is that they do exactly what you want (Unless you're my wife and are on team Jacob). The story ends up just how you hope in every way you hope. It feels you with warm happies. While other stories endings sometimes make me say "wow that was a good ending but I wished that 'x' didn't have to be eaten by bees". No the twilight books fill you with sappy glee. Now this is the reason a lot of people(snobs) reject the series they say it doesn't have artistic merit etc etc. We could debate that point but I don't care all I know is it makes me all warm and squishy (as opposed to my current fat and squishy).

Alright so I bet you have already drawn the conclusion of this post. I expected to go see twilight and get a puppy right? Well you're wrong it's opposite day. Twilight got 44% on Rotten tomatoes. A score that usually scares me away from seeing movies. I was also told that the acting was anywhere from "awkward" to "awful" and that the movie deviated greatly from the book. It had been so insulted by my friends and critics that I was debating even seeing it. My wife wanted to go see it as well so I thought meh we have seen bad movies before plus it will be fun to see a loved story on the big screen... All the things I had been told were wrong. It was awesome. The acting while different was excellent very real very teen. You got the feeling the actors may have just been being themselves which I think really really worked. Now you can never adapt a book to a movie 100% they are different mediums with impossible but I hate it when the deviate from the book and insert scenes. It just seems that they could have just kept the original story. So the movie cut some scenes, no Bella passing out from blood, or no Edward forcing Bella to have to be asked to the prom by Tyler. Everything that was in the movie was in the book if only a little altered to fit in with the medium (not like Harry Potter riding a f***ing hypogryph for 30 mins). So I thought it was awesome and I wanted so badly to watch the next movie but unfortunately it hasn't been made... yet.

*not that there's anything wrong with that

War on Christmas

Alright I've wanted to vent on this for quite some time.

The war on Christmas

This is the act of removing any religious tones from Christmas time.

here is my beef. Christmas is about as Christian as nuns.

Now you're gonna be all like whoa back dat bus up brother nuns are pretty Christian. No... no they are not. "A Nun" might be but their concept is a complete fabrication of the catholic church. Thats what Christmas is made up. It really has no right to have the place it has. I really believe holidays that are meant to be reflective should be like remembrance day. Not celebrated, we observe remembrance day we don't celebrate it. If there is a holiday that should be kept Christian it is easter but still we were never instructed to celebrate like we do. We just decided to. There is so much dogma and tradition stacked on top of the Christian beliefs that it's not recognized as what it is. I am fine with the securalization of Christmas. They say Jesus is the reason for the season but that is wrong too. Pious Catholic Monarchs are the reason for the season. On the flip side I am totally down with Jesus. I quite like him. I really believe that modern leaders of the Church are no better than pharisees. I mean have you seen the pope. He preaches humility and walks around in an extremely extravagant get-up if thats not a contradiction than I don't know what is.

The state of the church today I believe would cause Jesus a lot of table turning